Hello friends. I have taken a hiatus from writing, as you all can tell. Been through quite a bit the past few weeks and I am glad that I can finally write a little bit about what is going on. To all that still hit the blog, I love and miss you all....I still read all the comments when I had no intention to write. To Mom and Dad, the most supportive parents a kid could have...Thank you for putting up with all the conversations, stories, bitching, lashing outs' that I have given you. If I can't talk to my parents.....who can I talk to though? Love you guys. Alex, I love you man. Thanks for still giving me the words I need to hear so I can lace up my spikes. Ian, I love you man. It seems that you live through all the bullshit that baseball has dealt me as well. Thanks for helping keep my head. Stephanie, I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend. When I think that you would say..."Come home." You tell me to "Keep going." That let's me know how much you really care about me. Chris, I miss you man. I know I say this a lot but, I really see us hanging out within the next year or so. Olivear, THE CALLING!!!! Hahahahaahahaha....How I miss those times in our "studio". To everyone else, thank you for reading and for all the support. Say a prayer for a loss in the Lael family and for my uncle Jose.
Where, oh where, to begin?
It has been hard, lemme tell ya, to be a part of a professional baseball schedule. There are incredible highs and incredible lows. Pete LaForest has really helped me out these past couple of days on how to deal with it.
"Tony...I have been around a bit and I know what you are going through. Doing incredibly well....not playing when you think you should....getting in, and putting to much pressure on yourself. You have to play this game on an even level."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, when you are hitting, like you did when you got here, you can't let anyone know how 'high' you are feeling. When you go 0-20, you can't let anyone how 'low' you are feeling. You have to play this game on an even keel."
If you play highs and lows....it is a rollercoaster of emotions that you can not control. You have to play it cool and bring that 'swagger' that you have every game. Do not let anyone see 'you' not being 'you'. And that is that kid with a smile on his face, giving everyone shit. It is not hard to tell when you are not being you."
I understood this. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. Yes...it being due to the fact that I haven't played so well the past couple of games and being out of the lineup...but also to the fact that I am away from home. I am away from family, my girlfriend, and all of my friends. It is really hard keeping all my relationships in tact via phone conversations. But do you think I am the only baseball player who has dealt with these problems...? Hell no.
It is just a different life.
Now understand this as well. I know that this is not the "Majors". But this is a summer where baseball really is a 'job'. Where 'off days' are 2 days out of the month, working 8 hours a day, wanting to perform well, getting paid in peanuts...
The best aspects I can take out of this summer are these two things.
1. I can play with these guys.
2. I can honestly say, that I am going to ride this mother fucker to the end.
Baseball has been such a big part of my life. Ever since I picked up that yellow bat when I was 5 and got in my left handed stance (my favorite story btw Dad) to my final at bat of this season, there are things that I will remember most. It is not the homeruns, doubles with two outs, and diving plays that I make. It is everything else that is outside of the game that I will remember. The people I meet, the rain delay games, the shananigans that go on in the hotels, the picture I have with Coach Strat, and the feelings of rejection and redemption are the things that will echo most in my mind.
So the attitude now is this...
Let's see who can throw this mother fucker by me...
Here is a link to video you guys might wanna see. It is when I was asked to show up for a Capital/sponsor thingy.
http://montreal.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20090806/mtl_baseball_morrin_090806/20090806/?hub=MontrealHome
I love you guys and will talk to you soon.
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About freakin' time. You have learned a valuable lesson this summer - a lesson that no one could have taught you - well everyone except Pete - (Bitter...party of one, Bitter party of one) - No offense Tony but Ian has been teaching you that "even keel" stuff for years now. "Tony, each time I roll the dice in my D&D games - I have an even temper - whether I slay a dragon or defeat a group of trolls - I have an even temper - nothing gets me high or low" - direct quote from Ian (at least that is how I remember it) - love you, stretch the leg and warm up - A
ReplyDeleteHey Tony - how much more did you make dressing up in the lion costume? - was it hot? - I bet it wasn't as hot as when Ian dressed up as Barney in August for a birthday party - A
ReplyDeleteDear Tony:
ReplyDeleteGood to see you writing again. However, I must say I'm a little taken aback by your use of the word "mother fucker;" I simply want to know where you learned how to speak like this (a la the mother in The Christmas Story questioning Ralphie who taught him to say "fuck" and Ralphie thinks "hell, my old man said it every third word).
Sounds like LaForrest is a stand-up guy. I think you knew what he advised before he told you, but they are good words to live by.
I know what you mean about remembering the other things that happen in baseball besides the playing itself. One of my fondest memories is the Legion trip that one year to Omaha and the $1,100.00 dinner (Waiter, keep on bringing the appetizers for the entire team).
Keep swinging Monsieur Frappeur.
Love, Dad.
Sorry for the late post. I think Pete is right, you do need to find an even keel, however you will probably never find one. I think you need to focus on the "finding" and not on the "having." I mean come on, you have been full of piss and anger ever since you were four. How many rackets/birdies/tennis balls/golf clubs have you destroyed or thrown in disgust after being schooled? Search for the even keel--even though you may not find it.
ReplyDeleteDon't go to mellow on us. I mean lets face it, you are an episode of Days of our Lives/SportsCenter/Real Sex/and some sort of French educational show all rolled into one. Don't get all C-Span on me.
These past couple of days you have some good games. I don't give a shit.
heard you may have hurt yourself. It will be okay, if you rub the gynalotramin in counterclockwise you will find it will work much better. Alex taught me that trick.
Where the hell is Stephanie?
Good television spot. But which is odder, you hanging out with a man in a lion costume, or you being in a library?
You have gone farther than hundreds of kids born in 1984, and you are doing what thousands would kill to do. Don't forget it. There will be plenty of summers to be spend behind a desk in the future.
I hate you====Ian
I like your little cup of tea on the video!! :)
ReplyDelete